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Maybe it's a sign of the times, but it seems like the movement towards more politically correct language is spinning out of control. I don't have a problem with calling people "disabled" instead of "crippled" or "retarded." That's certainly a less hurtful way of describing their condition. It's the words that don't need euphemisms in the first place that bother me.
Today, words and phrases that are not even offensive are being "sanitized" to sound more pleasant than they really are. We no longer exercise at the gym, we exercise at the fitness center. We don't use banks, churches, or schools anymore. Instead we use financial institutions, worship centers, and learning centers. We don't live in neighborhoods, we live in communities.
In the business world, euphemisms are even more prevalent. We don't have layoffs, we have workforce reductions, outsourcing, downsizing, and displacement. We don't have problems, only challenges and opportunities. We don't have failures, we have deferred successes. We don't wish each other a Merry Christmas, we wish each other Happy Holidays.
I think these modern sugar-coated phrases are bullshit. Is it really necessary to sanitize words like "bank" or "school?" Saying things like "financial institution" or "learning center" is what people do when they try to sound smarter than they really are. I'm all for calling a spade a spade. If you can say something in two words instead of five, do it. Be clear and simple.
The other thing that's been bugging me lately is the explosive popularity of cutesy, mashed-up, hybrid, two-point-oh words that people are making up. Take for example the word "staycation," which is a short version of the phrase "stay at home vacation." I understand that because of the current economic situation, lots of families are still taking time off from work but aren't traveling out of state this year.
Call me old fashioned, but I wouldn't ever tell anyone I was taking a "staycation." I'd call it staying home and saving money. I'd call it not fucking going to Disneyland this year because the economy is in the shitter. Staycation? Give me a fucking break!
Another god-awful mashed up word is "ecopreneur," which refers to an environmentally-conscious entrepreneur. Boy, I couldn't take anyone seriously with a title like that! Then of course, there is the practice of "hypermiling" to conserve fuel when driving. How about slowing the fuck down and driving the speed limit?
I wish people would stop making up such ridiculous names for things that do not need them. It's getting annoying. For more words that disgust me, check out my previous post entitled Language I Loathe.
Today, cell phones can do everything from snap pictures to play music, go on the web, and even open and edit business documents. They have full keyboards that swivel, flip, and slide open in every way imaginable. To make these new phones even more appealing to teens, college kids, and hipsters, cell phone manufacturers began giving their phones names.
Just look at the Razr, the Rokr, the Chocolate, the Shine, the Instinct, the Secret, the BlackJack, the Scoop, the Cookie, the Lotus, the Renown, the Behold, the Saga, and the ubiquitous BlackBerry. This is a trend that's really, REALLY fucking stupid and I wish it would stop before it gets even more out of hand. These names are almost as generic and inane as colognes and fragrances at the mall.
How could you ever tell someone that you got a new phone called "the Chocolate" and not feel stupid and embarrassed? What a dumb name for a phone! What a dumb name for anything other than a bar of chocolate! I'm just waiting for them to come out with a phone called "the Cliche." Better yet, the perfect phone for me would be called "the Critic," if only it made fun of all the other phones with stupid names. I would rather have a phone with an esoteric naming system like "A-100" than a retarded name dreamed up by some marketing executive.
Phone manufacturers: stop naming phones after random nouns in the dictionary. Seriously.
I am not the only one who feels this way:
http://techcrunch.com/2007/04/05/the-futurist-where-all-these-cell-phone-names-are-taking-us/
http://betanews.com/2009/02/04/does-a-cell-phone-s-name-spell-its-success/
http://www.reuters.com/article/pressRelease/idUS131854+03-Feb-2009+BW20090203
https://web.archive.org/web/20081208211128/http://blog.gsmliberty.net/cell-phone-musings/cell-phone-names-gone-wrong/
In today's consumer-driven society, the market is full of all kinds of products to buy. In order to differentiate similar products from one another, manufacturers often give their products names instead of going by model numbers. Of course, some companies put vastly more effort into their product names than others.
Take a look at American car companies for example, which have historically given their vehicles real names. Cars like the Mustang, Thunderbird, Camaro, and Impala deliver strong visual images of power, speed, and strength. They just roll off the tongue. They may even influence the styling of the vehicle they adorn.
On the other hand, German and Japanese cars are seriously lacking in the imagination department. Rather than come up with clever or sexy names, they use esoteric combinations of letters and numbers to distinguish their vehicles. What comes to mind when you hear the name QX56, 740iL, and CLS-55? What does GS300 make you think of? They make me think of nothing. They make me picture hard-nosed designers who lack the human emotion that should go into building a car.
Before you go and point out that some automakers use these jumbled names to distinguish engine displacement, number of cylinders, or trim levels, I'm already ahead of you. Yes, a BMW 330 indicates an entry-level coupe with a 3.0-liter engine. And yet, the BMW 325 also has a 3.0-liter engine, not a 2.5-liter engine as the naming convention would indicate. It's completely meaningless when companies don't even adhere to their own rules.
Car manufacturers: start using the alphabet to make words.
I am not the only one who feels this way:
http://www.forbes.com/2006/01/09/lincoln-ford-names-cz_jf_0110flint.html
http://www.xanga.com/milkchug/447068233/item/
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