10 Stereotypes You Meet In College

One of the most eye-opening things about my time in college was the people there. It was quite a shock for me that a school with so many tens of thousands of students could have so many people who look and act the same. There were only about ten varieties of people and thousands of copies of them everywhere! I thought it would be a clever and original idea to start a list of them and their defining characteristics.
Well as it turns out, plenty of other people have already had this same idea. But I went ahead and recorded my observations anyway, because if you currently attend or are planning on attending college, you'll likely run into many of these same people. Don't say I didn't warn you!

1). The Party Guy - This guy thinks of himself as a "beer connoisseur" rather than "alcoholic." He's got the standard red Solo cup in his hand every time you see him. The Party Guy can talk for hours about why Beer X is better than Beer Y, in spite of the fact that any beer that's 75 cents a can is going to taste like piss regardless. When he's sober, he loves to talk about going to the lake and the dirt bike he used to have. He will drop out within the first year to work for his uncle's construction company and to help fund his growing collection of tattoos.

2). The Educrat - This person has made a career out of being a student. They have managed to make it to age 25 without having a real job and have no idea about the real world outside of what they've heard in lecture. They get high grades in challenging subjects like physics and math, yet struggle with simple tasks like bike locks, making coffee, and safe driving. They have been taught what to think, not how to think. Know everything but understand nothing. These people make great Teachers' Assistants.

3). Facebook Girl - She spends the entire lecture staring at her laptop and playing Farm Town. Although she never turns in a single assignment or takes notes, she finishes the semester a full grade above you because she kicks ass at tests. She's kind of hot in a girl-next-door sort of way. She has the shortest shorts and the biggest Macbook.

4). Sorority Girl - This gal is often seen walking around campus with her crew of recently-inducted members of a Sorority. They all sport matching Greek shirts atop their Baby Doll figures. She's not too good with computers but has a cell phone with a full keyboard for rapid-fire text messaging her friends about going out for drinks this weekend. Girls night out whooooo! She has never been seen finishing an entire plate of food.

5). Abercrombie Guy - It's the first day of class and he already knows the instructor on a first-name basis because his older brother had the same class a few years ago. You thought this kind of thing was over once you finished high school, but the reality is that it just gets worse. Abercrombie Guy is on the basketball team and often misses class because of away games. This sucks for you because he's on your team for the semester project and he actually asked you if PowerPoint was "the program with the slides." He spends every lecture playing "Breakout" on his BlackBerry.

6). The Freshman - This recent high school graduate has just started a four year paid vacation courtesy of mom and dad. The Freshman's parents have provided him with a room at the expensive new dorms, the deluxe meal plan, a brand new bike or car, and a new laptop that he got for a graduation present. This guy does not appreciate how good he has it and has the nerve to complain about getting up for a 10am class - and he lives on campus!

7). The Lifetime Achiever - This 47 year old parent of two completed their Associates degree when you were in kindergarten. They joined the rat race and started a family. Now that the nest is empty and they need a bachelor's degree to advance their career, they are back in the classroom. The Lifetime Achiever is equipped for success with their microcassette recorder and rolling backpack. They arrive 15 minutes early to class and constantly interrupt the lecture every five minutes to ask the instructor for clarification or to repeat something. They are very politically informed and take every opportunity to engage the class in discussion - but only if you agree with them.

8). The Phantom Classmate - He wasn't there for the first day of class, but he did make an appearance the first week asking around for an extra copy of the syllabus. Every now and then he misses a couple of weeks worth of lectures. The Phantom Classmate will show up randomly throughout the semester, never bringing more than the clothes on their back. The other students don't even know this person's name. The last you'll ever see them is on the day before an exam, whispering to the instructor about a withdrawal slip.

9). The Average Guy - The Average Guy is often seen shuffling to class in his basketball shorts and flip flops. He is always up to date on the newest movies and professional sports scores. He watches ESPN and listens to modern rock on his iPod. He drinks a little but is not a hardcore party animal like The Party Guy. You can't really figure out what he's into. The Average Guy doesn't seem to have any passion or zest in his life beyond lust for consumer products and brands, but he can talk for hours about which cell phone company has the best service. He passes his courses but doesn't ever absorb anything.

10). The Overachiever - Look no further than the quiet girl in the front row to find the Overachiever among you. This girl is majoring in Biochemistry and minoring in Early Childhood Development at the same time with a 3.5 GPA, but is thinking of switching to Nursing. She's taking 21 credit hours this semester, but only because the enrollment advisor wouldn't let her take more. You can almost see the crushing student loan debts reflected in her thousand yard stare during lecture. Don't bother asking her out for pizza because she's always busy studying. She has no life outside of school and will be filled with regret when she has her Masters degree at 25 and not a single happy memory of the last eight years.

I'm definitely not the only one who feels this way: 
https://web.archive.org/web/20100710051537/http://www.thefifthyear.com/2009/02/the-college-stereotypes/
http://collegecandy.com/2009/08/11/the-10-types-of-freshmen-youll-meet-on-campus/  
http://jamoker.wordpress.com/2006/12/13/a-summary-of-the-people-you-meet-in-college/ 
https://web.archive.org/web/20130805031216/http://www.thesangfroid.com/2009/07/30/the-10-types-of-people-you-meet-in-college/

The Cost of a Good Education

Ask any college student about the rising costs of textbooks, and they'll tell you what a racket the industry has going. A few decades ago, textbooks were used for approximately 3-5 years before a new edition was released. This gave educators time to develop strong ties with the material and design their courses accordingly. Now, it is common for new revisions to come out every year or even every semester.

In many cases, nothing has changed about the book except for the picture on the cover. I often wonder if textbook companies are truly meeting the needs of their customers, or if they are just tacking on bells and whistles in order to justify their price hikes?

It was not that long ago that I got my first textbook that came with a CD-ROM disc. The disc didn't have much on it, just a couple of lectures related to the subject of the book. It didn't add much value to the book itself. In fact, I think most of the textbooks that come with CD-ROMs and DVDs and other "enhanced content" end up staying in the package for the whole semester. The teachers don't assign it and so the kids don't use it. The Macroeconomics book I purchased last semester came with a special insert promoting the "iPod Ready Videos" the publisher now has available on its website. I never looked at them.

I guess the idea of all these multimedia extras are to reach out to students who don't gravitate towards books. Honestly, I cannot imagine that learning about inflation and the production possibilities curve would be any more fun on an iPod than to read from a book. No matter how you present the material, it's the same dull information. The more you produce of one good, the less you can theoretically produce of some other good. That part does not change.

Imagine an alchemist in some medieval kingdom, trying in his workshop to spin lead into gold. While he may succeed in producing something that looks like gold, or feels like gold, at the end of the day it simply cannot be done. No matter what package it comes in, it's still lead. Such is the case with transforming a textbook onto a disc. It might appear different, but if it's the same information then it's no more exciting than a real book.

Perhaps the demand for multimedia teaching is a response to the short attention spans of students these days. After growing up hooked to the TV, video games, and computers, most kids these days have an attention span somewhere between that of a horsefly and a commercial break. Blame the media, blame the parents, blame the schools and the families and even the soft drink companies. After all, you've got to blame somebody, right?

Call me old fashioned, but I don't need any of this new-age garbage. I can listen to a lecture from a real professor and take notes for sixty minutes and it won't kill me. I can read a freaking book and identify the meaning without having an actor explain it to me. Knowledge lies in finding the answers for yourself, and not in having someone tell them to you.

Somehow humanity was able to transfer knowledge from person to person for two millenia before we had iPod-ready video lectures and interactive multimedia junk. I wish textbook manufacturers would cut the crap already and just make good, affordable books. If the web-two-point-oh generation of today can't handle paying attention in lecture for an hour, then that's their problem. Maybe school is just not the place for them. My blood is already boiling; don't even get me started on the ridiculousness of online classes...