Monday, October 19, 2009

Celebrity Gossip Magazines are Completely Irrelevant

It seems like there is a magazine for every hobby and interest these days. There are even magazines for people who are interested in the lives of other people. One of the lowest forms of entertainment are the magazines that dish out the latest gossip on Hollywood celebrities and their off-camera lives.

You know them as US Weekly, People, and Life & Style magazine. These weekly rags appear at the checkout of every grocery and convenience store from coast to coast. Co-workers gaze at them during their lunch breaks. Women flip through them as they get their hair or nails done. And yet nothing between the front cover and back cover is of any importance at all!

The idea that anyone would care to read about the everyday lives of actors, singers, and other high profile individuals is lost on me. Celebrities are not more special than ordinary people, and everything they do and say should not be taken as gospel. Being an actor is a job, just like flipping burgers and waiting tables are jobs. Someone has to do it. Celebrities do not deserve special treatment just because they made a record or starred in a film.

The headlines make every article sound like the most monumental news since Moses delivered the 10 Commandments. Check out who's engaged and who's getting divorced! Look at the dress that so-and-so wore to some stupid event! Holy s**t, this is major life-changing news that YOU need to know!! And of course it's always printed in the most eye-catching, bright yellow, 96-point text that makes real layout designers cry.

Guess what, people who star in movies aren't any different from people who assemble widgets for a living. They get married and divorced, they have children, and they shop at the store. They go to the beach and drive cars just like normal people - because that's exactly what they are. They're just regular people and they should be treated as such.

I hate the idea that people fawn over celebrities and everything they do. Wow, look at Britney Spears stopping for coffee at Starbucks! Check out this person who gained or lost weight! Look at her hair, nails, and clothes! SO WHAT?! A high-paying job is no excuse for such ridiculous special treatment.

If you think celebrities are such amazing, gracious, generous super-people, I've got news for you: being directed around a soundstage by someone else for eight months while wearing too much makeup does not make one qualified to give opinions on current news and world events.

Celebrity tabloid magazines don't need to exist. They are nothing but photographs and ads with no real articles or content at all. They are a form of Prolefeed, a term first coined by George Orwell in his novel "Ninteen Eighty-Four." They entertain the most easily-distracted people in society with lots of pretty pictures. They provide drama and excitement to people whose lives are lacking both.

If you think this passes for entertainment of any sort, you're wrong. Celebrity gossip magazines aren't worth the paper they're printed on. They are not even worth complaining about beyond what I have already.

I'm not the only one who feels this way: