Celebrity Gossip Magazines are Completely Irrelevant

It seems like there is a magazine for every hobby and interest these days. There are even magazines for people who are interested in the lives of other people. One of the lowest forms of entertainment are the magazines that dish out the latest gossip on Hollywood celebrities and their off-camera lives.

You know them as US Weekly, People, and Life & Style magazine. These weekly rags appear at the checkout of every grocery and convenience store from coast to coast. Co-workers gaze at them during their lunch breaks. Women flip through them as they get their hair or nails done. And yet nothing between the front cover and back cover is of any importance at all!


The idea that anyone would care to read about the everyday lives of actors, singers, and other high profile individuals is lost on me. Celebrities are not more special than ordinary people, and everything they do and say should not be taken as gospel. Being an actor is a job, just like flipping burgers and waiting tables are jobs. Someone has to do it. Celebrities do not deserve special treatment just because they made a record or starred in a film.

The headlines make every article sound like the most monumental news since Moses delivered the 10 Commandments. Check out who's engaged and who's getting divorced! Look at the dress that so-and-so wore to some stupid event! Holy s**t, this is major life-changing news that YOU need to know!! And of course it's always printed in the most eye-catching, bright yellow, 96-point text that makes real layout designers cry.

Guess what, people who star in movies aren't any different from people who assemble widgets for a living. They get married and divorced, they have children, and they shop at the store. They go to the beach and drive cars just like normal people - because that's exactly what they are. They're just regular people and they should be treated as such.

I hate the idea that people fawn over celebrities and everything they do. Wow, look at Britney Spears stopping for coffee at Starbucks! Check out this person who gained or lost weight! Look at her hair, nails, and clothes! SO WHAT?! A high-paying job is no excuse for such ridiculous special treatment.

If you think celebrities are such amazing, gracious, generous super-people, I've got news for you: being directed around a soundstage by someone else for eight months while wearing too much makeup does not make one qualified to give opinions on current news and world events.

Celebrity tabloid magazines don't need to exist. They are nothing but photographs and ads with no real articles or content at all. They are a form of Prolefeed, a term first coined by George Orwell in his novel "Ninteen Eighty-Four." They entertain the most easily-distracted people in society with lots of pretty pictures. They provide drama and excitement to people whose lives are lacking both.

If you think this passes for entertainment of any sort, you're wrong. Celebrity gossip magazines aren't worth the paper they're printed on. They are not even worth complaining about beyond what I have already.

I'm not the only one who feels this way:
http://current.com/items/89565427_do-you-know-what-prolefeed-is.htm
http://sickobsession.wordpress.com/2009/09/07/the-prolefeed-network/
http://www.airliners.net/aviation-forums/non_aviation/read.main/1945863/
http://everything2.com/title/celebrities
http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/1736/200905amusingourselvest.png

Why Car Magazines Suck

The Automotive Gossip industry is almost as big and competitive as the Automotive industry itself. On the newsstand you have magazines such as Car and Driver, Road and Track, Motor Trend, and AutoWeek. On the web you have AutoBlog, Jalopnik, and the GM Blogs. There are no shortage of publications claiming to have the most authentic and most current industry news about the car industry.

For the longest time, I enjoyed keeping up with the news in the automotive industry through magazines and periodicals. After a while though, the magazines all started to sound the same to me.


One problem with car magazines is that the reviewers are always so snobbish about the vehicles they test drive. They expected the Cadillac to be more luxurious or the Mustang to be faster. They complain about the suspension being too stiff or the engine not powerful enough. They gripe about automatic transmissions being slushy or a steering wheel that feels too small.

These automotive pundits have forgotten that the majority of their readers do not get behind the wheel of a high-performance or exotic car every day. Most drivers have very boring cars, and we would be happy to have a vehicle that works without breaking down on us.

For example, the 14-year old economy car that I drive has been nothing but one expensive repair after another during the six years I have owned it. I would gladly take home any new car featured in a magazine, even if the reviewer thinks the leather trim is the wrong color.

After a while, the things that reviewers dislike about cars start to sound petty, insignificant, and downright ridiculous. It's almost as though they approach every vehicle with a magnifying glass rather than looking at the bigger picture, which is this: car manufacturing has come a LONG way over the past few decades. New vehicles are dramatically safer, more comfortable, and more efficient than ever before. There's almost nothing to complain about, so they magnify the smallest quirks in a vehicle to write an article.

What car magazines should focus on is helping people find the right car for their needs. How fun it is to drive, how well it performs in everyday situations, and how much it costs to maintain. These are things that average drivers would like to know before purchasing a new vehicle.

Instead, car magazines love to bombard you with useless facts, like how fast it goes around some fucking racetrack in Germany or how the new Mercedes has 0.006 inches more legroom than the BMW. They blast you with statistics that really aren't that important or relevant to how the vehicle will be driven in the real world.

They claim one car is superior to another because it has six more horsepower or is a fraction of a second faster down the dragstrip. Honestly, I would be happy to have a car with a zero-to-sixty time that's not measured in minutes! The automotive gossip industry is so wrapped up in cramming data down your throat that they've lost touch with the people who truly enjoy the experience of driving.

In spite of all this, the automotive gossip industry stronger than ever. An entire subculture of people now post their thoughts about every new make and model to be announced. Log on to any automotive news forum or message board to find out what Joe from Philadelphia thinks of the newest Kia crossover. Seriously, who gives a crap? These armchair experts probably drive around in a 1992 Toyota Corolla and yet trumpet their opinions about the newest generation of muscle cars like they're the freaking world experts.

As a whole, the automotive gossip industry is full of self-absorbed know-it-alls and "experts" who quote arbitrary facts out of context to try and seem smart. Headlines that are of paramount importance one day are discarded and forgotten the next day. Everyone's looking for the next big thing and living in the "now" with no thought to the past or future. I'm sorry, but car magazines just aren't fun to read anymore.

I'm not the only one who feels this way:
http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/car-and-driver-road-track-motor-trend-automobile-americas-buff-books-laid-low/
http://autosnob.blogspot.com/2009/10/power-of-preconceptions.html

Why ASU Is Arizona's Worst University

My grudge against Arizona State University has been several years in the making. Once you understand my experiences with ASU, you will see why I consider the school to be the worst University in the State of Arizona.

It all began in 2006 when I naively applied to ASU, fresh out of community college. Everyone who wishes to go to school there must complete an online application and pay a $50 dollar fee. Well, I ended up doing this twice because the school lost my first application. That's right, I submitted it carefully and received a confirmation number, and they lost an online application and needed me do the form and pay the fee a second time.

After I was accepted, I went to register for classes. Unlike community college, the advisors are available by appointment only and with very limited hours. My advisor insisted that only 27 of my 64 community college credits were transferrable to the program I wanted. This is the sort of thing the AGEC program was supposed to eliminate!

One thing the staff at ASU loves to tell you is that "You need to go see the people in this other building to solve your problem." No matter which building you're in, it never seems to be the right one. Like it or not, you'll get to see the whole campus by the time you finish getting your ID card, parking pass, shot records, proof of insurance, transcripts, books, and everything else squared away.

Foolishly, I continued on that semester. I shelled out $250 dollars for the cheapest available parking pass, which was a stone's throw from Tempe Town Lake. Three days a week I got up before sunrise to drive 30 miles to the campus, which could take up to 90 minutes during rush hour traffic. From there it was a two-mile bike ride to my first class.

There were a lot of things about my time at ASU that I did not like. I did not like the students who had their entire educations paid for by their parents, while others like myself who wanted to learn struggled with finances. I did not like how everyone there bought into the stereotype of being a college person.

Another thing I did not like was my Calculus instructor who, although a skilled mathematician, spoke very little English. After I attended every single class period, did all of the assigned homework and never missed a single exam, she gave me a failing grade. I couldn't understand it! Although I had difficulty with some of the material, I did email her for help. How can you fail someone who tried so very hard? At ASU, they simply don't care.

After toughing it out for one semester, I called it quits with ASU and transferred to another school. I considered attending the ASU West Campus in 2007 and again in 2009, but both times I was given the runaround by the staff and ultimately, my admission to the business program was declined in spite of an outstanding academic record.

ASU's satellite campuses (such as ASU West) are so highly specialized that they offer only a handful of degree programs each. This is a joke compared to the hundreds of degrees available at the Main campus in Tempe. This is cleverly disguised because degrees like "Business Management" are listed on the ASU West website even though they are not actually available from the West campus. Just go down there and ask them about it!

Of course, these are just my own experiences with ASU. If you're still not convinced that ASU sucks, just take a look at the following distinctions the school has been awarded:

Ranked #13 out of 40 Top Party Schools by Playboy Magazine in 1987
Ranked #14 of 25 of America's Douchiest Colleges by GQ Magazine in 2009
Ranked #1 Party School by Playboy Magazine in 2002
Ranked #20 on the Princeton Review Party School List in 2009

As you can see, even the news media regards ASU not as a credible academic institution, but as a wild party school. When you take into account the disorganized administration, the tuition surcharges and endless fees, the rudeness of the staff, and the student body of college stereotypes, it's easy to see why I feel that ASU is Arizona's Worst University.

Cash For Clunkers Is An Absolute Disgrace

In July of 2009, the US Government approved a legislative bill known as the Car Allowance Rebate System, or CARS. This program offered new car buyers a large cash discount when they traded in a used vehicle that met specific criteria. The motive behind the program was to encourage drivers to purchase more fuel-efficient vehicles. In spite of this noble effort, I feel the way the program was carried out was an absolute disgrace.

The truth is, these trade-in vehicles were disposed of in the absolute worst way I can even imagine. Rather than being refurbished, sold to low income buyers, being recycled at scrapyards, or exported to overseas buyers, these vehicles were permanently disabled by replacing the engine oil with an engine-seizing solution.

When poured into the engine and run for a few minutes, the engine seizes up and the car becomes inoperable. As a result, the engine can never be swapped into a different vehicle or used to repair an existing vehicle.

While I can understand the incentive behind getting people to drive fuel efficient cars, I cannot be okay with destroying vehicles that are in perfect working condition. Just look at any of the videos on YouTube of CARS victims meeting their demise.

Take this 1998 Cadillac for example. It is in excellent physical condition and it is vastly more efficient than the vehicle I'm currently driving. The idea that anyone would consider this vehicle a "clunker" is ridiculous! This is not a one-time example; there are dozens of videos of good cars being destroyed in an astonishingly wasteful and inefficient way.

The trade-in vehicles from the CARS program could have gone to so many other good uses instead of being destroyed. They could have been sold to salvage yards, given to hardworking impoverished families that desperately need reliable transportation, or exported to third world nations for use as emergency vehicles or otherwise. They could have been donated to charities, or refurbished and put back on the road. As far as I am concerned, the CARS program is an absolute disgrace.

I'm not the only one who feels this way:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Car_Allowance_Rebate_System#Environmental_effects

10 Stereotypes You Meet In College

One of the most eye-opening things about my time in college was the people there. It was quite a shock for me that a school with so many tens of thousands of students could have so many people who look and act the same. There were only about ten varieties of people and thousands of copies of them everywhere! I thought it would be a clever and original idea to start a list of them and their defining characteristics.


Well as it turns out, plenty of other people have already had this same idea. But I went ahead and recorded my observations anyway, because if you currently attend or are planning on attending college, you'll likely run into many of these same people. Don't say I didn't warn you!

1). The Party Guy - This guy thinks of himself as a "beer connoisseur" rather than "alcoholic." He's got the standard red Solo cup in his hand every time you see him. The Party Guy can talk for hours about why Beer X is better than Beer Y, in spite of the fact that any beer that's 75 cents a can is going to taste like piss regardless. When he's sober, he loves to talk about going to the lake and the dirt bike he used to have. He will drop out within the first year to work for his uncle's construction company and to help fund his growing collection of tattoos.

2). The Educrat - This person has made a career out of being a student. They have managed to make it to age 25 without having a real job and have no idea about the real world outside of what they've heard in lecture. They get high grades in challenging subjects like physics and math, yet struggle with simple tasks like bike locks, making coffee, and safe driving. They have been taught what to think, not how to think. Know everything but understand nothing. These people make great Teachers' Assistants.

3). Facebook Girl - She spends the entire lecture staring at her laptop and playing Farm Town. Although she never turns in a single assignment or takes notes, she finishes the semester a full grade above you because she kicks ass at tests. She's kind of hot in a girl-next-door sort of way. She has the shortest shorts and the biggest Macbook.

4). Sorority Girl - This gal is often seen walking around campus with her crew of recently-inducted members of a Sorority. They all sport matching Greek shirts atop their Baby Doll figures. She's not too good with computers but has a cell phone with a full keyboard for rapid-fire text messaging her friends about going out for drinks this weekend. Girls night out whooooo! She has never been seen finishing an entire plate of food.

5). Abercrombie Guy - It's the first day of class and he already knows the instructor on a first-name basis because his older brother had the same class a few years ago. You thought this kind of thing was over once you finished high school, but the reality is that it just gets worse. Abercrombie Guy is on the basketball team and often misses class because of away games. This sucks for you because he's on your team for the semester project and he actually asked you if PowerPoint was "the program with the slides." He spends every lecture playing "Breakout" on his BlackBerry.

6). The Freshman - This recent high school graduate has just started a four year paid vacation courtesy of mom and dad. The Freshman's parents have provided him with a room at the expensive new dorms, the deluxe meal plan, a brand new bike or car, and a new laptop that he got for a graduation present. This guy does not appreciate how good he has it and has the nerve to complain about getting up for a 10am class - and he lives on campus!

7). The Lifetime Achiever - This 47 year old parent of two completed their Associates degree when you were in kindergarten. They joined the rat race and started a family. Now that the nest is empty and they need a bachelor's degree to advance their career, they are back in the classroom. The Lifetime Achiever is equipped for success with their microcassette recorder and rolling backpack. They arrive 15 minutes early to class and constantly interrupt the lecture every five minutes to ask the instructor for clarification or to repeat something. They are very politically informed and take every opportunity to engage the class in discussion - but only if you agree with them.

8). The Phantom Classmate - He wasn't there for the first day of class, but he did make an appearance the first week asking around for an extra copy of the syllabus. Every now and then he misses a couple of weeks worth of lectures. The Phantom Classmate will show up randomly throughout the semester, never bringing more than the clothes on their back. The other students don't even know this person's name. The last you'll ever see them is on the day before an exam, whispering to the instructor about a withdrawal slip.

9). The Average Guy - The Average Guy is often seen shuffling to class in his basketball shorts and flip flops. He is always up to date on the newest movies and professional sports scores. He watches ESPN and listens to modern rock on his iPod. He drinks a little but is not a hardcore party animal like The Party Guy. You can't really figure out what he's into. The Average Guy doesn't seem to have any passion or zest in his life beyond lust for consumer products and brands, but he can talk for hours about which cell phone company has the best service. He passes his courses but doesn't ever absorb anything.

10). The Overachiever - Look no further than the quiet girl in the front row to find the Overachiever among you. This girl is majoring in Biochemistry and minoring in Early Childhood Development at the same time with a 3.5 GPA, but is thinking of switching to Nursing. She's taking 21 credit hours this semester, but only because the enrollment advisor wouldn't let her take more. You can almost see the crushing student loan debts reflected in her thousand yard stare during lecture. Don't bother asking her out for pizza because she's always busy studying. She has no life outside of school and will be filled with regret when she has her Masters degree at 25 and not a single happy memory of the last eight years.

I'm definitely not the only one who feels this way: http://www.educationonline.net/10-stereotypes-in-college/ http://www.thefifthyear.com/2009/02/the-college-stereotypes/ http://www.askstudent.com/funny/summary-of-99-of-the-people-you-will-meet-in-college/ http://collegecandy.com/2009/08/11/the-10-types-of-freshmen-youll-meet-on-campus/ http://jamoker.wordpress.com/2006/12/13/a-summary-of-the-people-you-meet-in-college/ http://thesangfroid.wordpress.com/2009/07/30/the-10-types-of-people-you-meet-in-college/ http://quazen.com/kids-and-teens/college-life/the-five-worst-people-you-meet-in-college/