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One of the most popular social-networking sites of the past few years is Twitter. Members of the site post brief, 140-character long messages known as "tweets" whenever they feel like it. This allows friends and family to keep up with the user's activities throughout the day. Twitter is free to use, explosively popular, and utterly stomach-churning to me.
There are lots of reasons why I hate Twitter, starting with the absolutely awful name. If Twitter is the name of the website, does that mean its members are all "Twits?" Last time I checked, that was a pretty undesirable thing to be called.
The second reason I hate Twitter is the nature of the service that they provide. By posting "tweets," your friends and family can know what you're doing at any moment throughout the day. I guess the telephone, the answering machine, the cell phone, the voicemail box, the text message, the letter, the handwritten note, email, instant messaging, MySpace comments and messages, blogs, and good old fashioned talking to your friends just aren't enough to keep in touch in these modern times! With so many ways to communicate with one another, is one more really necessary?
Third, the type of information that people post on Twitter is so boring, useless, and inane that I cannot believe anyone cares about this stuff. Does my cousin across the country really care that I ate a burrito for lunch today? Is it critical that my friends and co-workers know when I am procrastinating on my homework? Does anyone at all need to know that I got a new pair of shoes or got my car's oil changed this weekend?
The information people post on Twitter is beyond trivial; it has no value to anyone. If I did something truly noteworthy like get engaged, move to a new house, or change careers, I'd let my friends know with a telephone call, email message, or other form of communication mentioned above.
When people make a post such as: "Just got dressed, heading out to work now" it is really not noteworthy. What do you want, praise for accomplishing a simple everyday task? Do you expect a pat on the head for that meager accomplishment, or are you just a whore for attention?
The whole Twitter phenomenon reminds me of the popular catchphrase of the 1990's: TMI, or Too Much Information. In context, the expression is used when someone tells you all the dirty details and it makes you uncomfortable. I certainly don't think strangers on the Internet need to know that I'm heading out to the library to return an overdue book or that I was late to work this morning because I had to clean up a big pile of cat barf on the rug. I hesitate to tell those things even to close personal friends, but apparently some people have no shame (especially when it comes to very personal medical problems).
The fourth reason that Twitter sucks is its 140-character limit. With an email or telephone call, I am free to say as much as I want to, whether it's ten words or ten thousand words. I am free to add pictures, video, and anything else I want to get my message across. The Internet is all about removing boundaries on creative self-expression, unless you're on Twitter in which case you are required to stay in your 140-character corral. After all, you don't want to get too detailed or anything.
Finally, I hate Twitter because it is made for the laziest kind of people. I view Twitter users as people too lazy to place a telephone call, compose an email, or tap out a text message because it takes too much work. For them, Twitter is a quick and easy way to say "Hey world, pay attention to me!" without the effort of picking up a phone, writing a blog, or doing anything creative that takes real effort.
To summarize, Twitter has a terrible name, it is unnecessary in our thoroughly-connected modern society, it is full of useless information, its members have no shame about what they share, and it's the quickest path to becoming an attention whore ever devised. Fuck Twitter.
I am not the only one who feels this way:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18445274/
http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1877187,00.html
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1879169,00.html
http://www.zazzle.com/i_hate_twitter_tshirts-235256829573788183
Though you may not be familiar with the term "flatbiller," you have probably seen the type of people it refers to. The term is generally applied to young people who are overly concerned with looking "tough" and intimidating. The characteristics of a flatbiller make them instantly recognizable.
The name flatbiller comes from the ubiquitous baseball hat worn at a crooked angle; neither forward to shade the eyes nor backward to shade the neck. Besides being crooked, it also has a flat (unflexed) bill. This is a popular fashion accessory for many flatbillers.
Flatbillers wear clothing from companies such as SRH, Lithium, Threadless, Seedless, Ambiguous, Famous, Sullen, Affliction, Silver Star, Alpinestars, 187 Inc., and Extreme Couture. These clothes feature "splatter" patterns, spades, skulls, brass knuckles, and Old English lettering to contribute to the desired image of toughness. Other accessories include fur-lined hoodies worn year round, white-framed sunglasses, basketball shorts, and skate shoes.
Of course being a flatbiller is more than just wearing the right clothes, it is also a lifestyle. Flatbillers often use the term "bro" when speaking to one another, such as "Hey bro do you wanna hit up the dunes this weekend?" "Yeah, bro!!"
Typical activities include talking about dirt bikes and pit bikes for hours on end. This is also supplemented with talk about partying at the lake, how much you can drink, and which the tattoos they have recently gotten or are about to get.
The trucks that "bros" drive are easy to identify because they are often covered in white vinyl stickers of brands such as SRH, Fox, and FMF. The squatting devil girl silhouette is also popular. These trucks commonly have ridiculous lift kits and oversized tires, which make extra-long trailer hitches that extend down to the height of a normal boat or flatbed trailer a necessity.
When it comes to consumer products, flatbillers have a preference towards "extreme" goods and services. Because ordinary drinks aren't extreme enough, flatbillers often consume energy drinks such as Monster, Kronik, Rockstar, and Sparks. These are especially useful when recovering from a weekend of partying, or "getting faded."
It is recommended that you not point out the foolishness of getting piss-drunk on a Sunday night before work or school the next day. This is because flatbillers live an "in the moment" lifestyle illustrated by the popular slogan "no regrets." While it's supposed to convey an image of decisiveness, it is a double-edged sword that can come back to haunt those who make poor decisions such as excessive spending on "toys" like dirt bikes, rims, trucks, tattoos, clothing, and other status symbols.
Friends and family are at the core of the flatbiller lifestyle. At our deepest levels, human beings desire to be accepted by social groups. It seems like the people who become flatbillers were not cool enough to be jocks and not smart enough to be nerds in high school. Rather than face rejection, they became part of a new group and adopted an attitude of toughness and extreme activities to overcompensate for the isolation they felt in the past. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it.
At any rate, the type of people who are all about dirt bikes, lifted trucks, extreme products, and mass-produced brand name clothing are a bunch of phonies and poseurs trying to make you think they're SO tough when they are not. They should learn to be happy with themselves instead of trying to fit into a subculture of carelessness and facetiousness.
I'm not the only one who feels this way:
http://flatbiller.com/
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Flatbiller
http://www.dirtopia.com/wiki/Flatbiller
Dear Hollywood,
Please stop making movies about football. I mean seriously, every movie about football that can ever be made has already been made twice.
Nobody thinks the ragtag bunch of misfits have a chance at the championship, but then they overcome their differences and against all odds...they WIN, gaining the respect of their hard-nosed coach and the opposing team. Wow, I totally didn't see that coming...not!
The world does not need any more movies about football. From The Waterboy to The Comebacks, The Longshots, The Replacements, The Longest Yard, We Are Marshall, Varsity Blues, Jerry Maguire, Gridiron Gang, Any Given Sunday, Remember The Titans, and countless others, football movies are nothing but cliché.
Speaking of clichés, the world already has plenty of superhero movies, computer-animated kids' movies, and movies based on TV shows. Now if someone could please stop Adam Sandler, Jack Black, Will Ferrell, Paris Hilton, and Jennifer Lopez from ever standing in front of a camera again, the world would be a much better place.
Thank you,
America
I am not the only one who feels this way:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14468942/
http://www.epinions.com/content_255049174660?sb=1
http://voices.yahoo.com/the-most-overused-sports-movie-cliches-821739.html?cat=19
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